Thursday, June 11, 2009
I have been doing a lot of research on nutrition. My triglycerides are high and I am really bothered by the amount of sugar in Osmolite, which goes in my feeding tube. I am still plagued by my new obesity, which is not only unattractive but extremely uncomfortable for me and for the aides who have to transfer me. When I am at physical therapy, the room is lined with mirrors and it depresses me to see myself. It further disturbs me that there don't seem to be any alternatives out there. They are all filled with sugars! I want to make my own mixtures, so I am looking at recipes. Then, how to get the aides to keep mixing up these concoctions for me?
I think these tube feeds are made for people whose weight has gone down to nothing, and that is not the case with me. I know I am going to get a bunch of emails from well-meaning people who want to make me feel good by convincing me that I am beautiful anyway, that my weight is not important. Thank you, but It's not about that. When you can no longer apply makeup, take regular showers, insert contact lenses, and have to be confined to a wheelchair, obesity is not something you want to deal with. It's unhealthy, unhygienic, and yes unattractive to someone like me who has never had more than 20 pounds to lose, and that was optional because it was a matter of clothing no longer fitting, and never affected my health.
This is not just some shallow desire. It is a challenge I need to handle. I have been researching mixtures that will be easy to blend up and provide all the nutrients I need. I have been taking supplements. And I have been trying to do exercises in the wheelchair to fill in between my twice-weekly physical therapy sessions. Suggestions?